Lie #2 - I don't need to lose weight. I'm fine the way I am.

How I wish this was something I didn't have to deal with. I've prayed, cried, ignored, fought with this lie most of my life but I'm coming to terms with the truth of that lie now... I am fine the way I am. But I know I'm not living up to my full potential when I weigh as much as I do. Until I choose to embrace that and actually do something about it, I'll continue to live in a cycle of not feeling my best. 

Why do we choose to do anything other than our best? I mean, really! We live in a culture that tells you to accept everything and give yourself "grace" for everything. I have masked the word "grace" with "justified" as to why I have not done the work that needs to be done. When I think back to when I felt the best in my life, it was when I WORKED AT IT! And I worked hard at it. I also had the time to do that. I didn't have a husband and 4 kids, ages 4 and under. I don't know if I'm alone here, but I so badly want to feel my best and look my best, but I fail to put the actual work into it. I want to will it to happen. Call me crazy, but that's what I have to combat. I also have to combat that I don't have time to do the work. It will never look like what it did, but if I say to myself that I don't have time, it'll get justified again and not dealt with. 

I have made an observation in the past month of re-joining WW. I know this plan works because I have done it before. The reason I choose to do this program is because it allows me to have the most "normal" food choices and lifestyle that I can. I don't want my kids growing up hearing me ever say that word diet. It's a cursed and messed up word. I am on a plan that gives me flexibility and options- and no I'm not getting paid by them to say that. If you're not a WW fan, do what works for you. Any plan will work if you actually do it. It's the lifestyle mentality that works for me with what I chose. ANYWAYS - the observation is that the more I eat well, the less I feel that I need to eat more of anything. I know this isn't anything new, but when I eat food that I'm allowed to eat but isn't healthy, I almost immediately feel too full, bloated or weighed down. When I simply forgo foods that aren't natural, my body automatically feels lighter and free. Free from the weight of crappy food. It's another way of saying, "Anything is permissible but not everything is beneficial"... ya, that's for real! 

So the journey continues to lose weight. I am fine right where I am, but I want more than that for myself. I've forgotten what it feels like, so I'm on the hunt for it again. I do remember that it's an awesome feeling, but I have to remember that it's not going to happen magically. It will work when I make the changes I know I need to make. Those changes are different for everyone. I don't want to spend my whole lifetime making excuses. I've done that enough.